MB 2022

The Mahabharata is a very, very old, very, very long story with a zillion versions. MB2022 is the version written in 2022 in Canada, by an Indian born, recently immigrated mom, who’s trying to introduce her 10 year old Percy-Jackson-loving kid to Hindu mythology and its nifty stories and characters.

Why the zillionth and first version, you ask? First of all, why not? This is probably the most remixed story of all time, so I get to have a go at it as well. Second of all, it’s 2022. And the pandemic is driving everyone batshit crazy, and I need something to do that does not involve my day job, vaccine schedules, lockdowns, masked excursions, cooking or cleaning. But the third-of-all is the real reason: The kid knows the entirety of the Kronos’ family into several generations and is really into the drama of warring siblings, terrible curses and incestuous relationships.

You gotta read the Mahabharata stories, I said.

Why?

You’ll like them. They’re like your Greek mythology stuff.

Whatever.

“Whatever” is a good sign. So, I start digging around for a Mahabharata version that will have the racy appeal of the Percy Jackson series. Tough luck. All the stuff is either long and dense or ridiculously childish. Or pointlessly pompous about ancient culture, or way too interpretive and scholarly. Now length, I know, is not a problem. The kid has been working through 500 page books one after the other two years in a row. She can also watch 6 seasons of a show in a week, or 300 episodes of SSSniper Wolf’s reaction videos, or doomsday scroll through fan fiction. But childish is a no-no, and pompous is uncool. How about those Amar Chitra Katha versions, I think. I had similar reading tastes as my kid when I was her age, I reason. Sure, there was no SSSniper Wolf, but I remember reading those comics with reasonable interest, even if I found the art work so-so. Click click click. Couple days later there’s a box on the doorstep with the complete Mahabharata, all three volumes, weighing 10 kg between them.

The kid looks through them for 3 minutes before her attention is drawn back to other things.

So? I say. What do you think of them?

I don’t like it.

You hardly looked at it!

I saw enough. I don’t even understand what it is.

You gotta give it a try, ammu.

Why?

Because they are interesting stories.

No, they are not! I don’t get them.

 You’ll get the inside jokes when your ajji calls someone Kumbhakarna.

Who’s Kumbarna? And why’s it a joke?

Gotta read the stories to know! There’s plenty more like that.

Aaargh. Just tell me already. Or I can live without it.

I need to understand what she has against the books. I pick up volume 1 and curl up on the sofa. The dad does the same on the other end of the sofa. We did not last five minutes. The stuff was impossible to read. Even to us, who knew many many of the stories. The gauntlet had been thrown down. If the kid asks me to tell her, I’ll tell her in words she’ll get. Or die trying.

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